The joy of letting go!!
Monday Feb 01st, 2021
How cleaning your house and surroundings out, can transform your life and create abundance!! I know seems crazy right!?!? It’s the truth and though I always do a spring and fall clean in the last couple months and after reading an amazing book, I have come to a new level of “tidying up”! I have to say it’s been nothing short of magical!! The book is The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing Book by Marie Kondo.
Most people walk into my home and tell me how tidy and well-kept it looks, this is of course if I know someone is coming over because with 3 children the house rarely seems to be or stay tidy and I am getting better with letting go of the idea and the madness behind trying to keep a neat and tidy home at this time, it’s pointless and can lead you to a nervous breakdown as well as take away from the joys of the moment with you family, let them explore, play with ALL their toys, create and give yourself that space to do those things with them without feeling constricted and anxious about the mess piling up around you.
The kind of tidying I am speaking of is a sort of tidying from the inside out, I will fully admit that for many years and still to some degree now I would acquire materialistic items to fill some void or to bring me some instant gratification, to feel some rush of newness and revitalization, in all honesty probably 85% of these purchases, holding on to’s and not letting go of’s where unnecessary and came from the wrong space or emotion I was in. I am most definitely not saying that we all don’t enjoy spoiling ourselves and the ones we love time to time but if you are mindful of “why” you are spending, acquiring, holding onto it will probably give you a ton of insight on your deeper inner workings. Now that I have started delving into certain parts of me that I had turned away from before, I want nothing more to let go, let go of all that weighs me down, as I am finding out “holy shit” I have acquired a lot of “shit” and that picture perfect home is stuffed full, hidden in cupboards, drawers, closets, EVERYWHERE it tell you EVERYWHERE!!! It’s heavy and it’s weighing me down on so many levels.
So whether you are decluttering to sell your home, spring/ fall cleaning, your husbands nagging you, you’re sick of things flying out every time you open a cupboard, you can’t find your favorite shirt or because on a deeper level you need to release things weighing you down, there is no better time than the present to create that shift. Reading the above mentioned book has indeed helped with my method of clearing out but you have to feel it like a fire inside, the annoyance and clutter needs to outweigh the need for holding on and surrounding yourself with *things*. I started in the kids rooms where I easily got rid of 2 garbage bags full of clothes plus a few big items such as toys and high chair, kids grow fast and in the blink of an eye they have grown out of their clothes, so this haul of things to get rid of was easier to understand. The next room I moved to was the kitchen, I was shocked at what I threw away, absolutely *shocked* it was actually a bit embarrassing 3 garbage bags out of the kitchen!!!! I thought to myself *how in the hell is this even possible?!?!?* let me tell you it felt good, no actually it felt friggin amazing I felt lighter instantly!! So you would think that I would have absolutely nothing left in the kitchen but strangely enough there is everything we need plus probably even more stuff we don’t need but its manageable, it’s easy to keep in check and even the kitchen thanked me after getting rid of all that stuff! I did my clothes yesterday, that was a huge undertaking and as I looked around my room after ripping every article of clothes out of every space and crevasse, I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I thought what in the hell did I just start lol I even took pics, told my brother in law to come bare witness to the extreme excess and undertaking that was about to take place, he couldn’t believe that piled up to my knees or higher spanning 40 sq ft of room were clothes. Now don’t get me wrong usually yearly I purge clothes, lots of clothes but I seem to acquire just as fast but this time my method was different, my frame of mind different and never had I pulled every single article of clothing out, to hold it, get a sense of joy or love or not from the object and make a decision to keep or throw away from that, the simplicity of it in itself was a bit puzzling at first.
To give a bit of history I am a deeply sentimental person, I hold on to papers, letters, pictures , clothing anything that once meant something I’ve held on to, that’s a lot of stuff, we have countless amazing memories and moments through our lives, with a variety of people in different places, how beautiful! The problem comes in when you hold onto to all the things connected with those things, it paramount’s, it weighs heavy and can literally leave you stuck from moving forward and achieving the best version of you!! So when I started taking into consideration, this new way of thinking, ** does this item spark joy, do I love it? ** it changes a lot…we think if we discard the item attached to the moment or person we are going to forget the memory or possibly we don’t feel we love or loved them less by getting rid of it. This is the furthest thing from the truth and once we realize no one or no thing can take away those moments or feelings that are rooted deeply in our being, our memories, our feeling, our love and expression then and only then can we truly discard the things weighing us down and on the lighter side of it who the hell needs 10 white tank tops or 50 old birthday cards or 10 boxes of something cause it was on sale no one!!
I am not going to lie and say that this process was easy breezy, it was actually quite the opposite. It was quite emotional, frustrating having to look at, touch, analyze so many items that sparked different emotions that span back decades, it was tough work!! My resolve was tested as my daughter going through the bags I was getting rid of would say “this is Brandy’s (my sister who passed away) dress you can’t get rid of that or this looks so good on you keep it! , that was hard, it struck that feeling of guilt…*GASP* does that mean I love her less or don’t care about her love for the dress?!?!? All those emotions but I was strong, I said “ Shayla please stop, these things need to go, they don’t bring me joy, I don’t love them, they are weighing me down” and in that breath I felt relief and the truth of letting go.
I can also attest to more things opening up for me since doing this, spending money on experiences, adventures, learning and things that truly light me up, not just on things, the power of letting go opens you up to a deeper understanding of you, who you are and where you would like to be. It is one of the most joyful feelings around, simply amazing what a bit of tidying can do for the soul!